My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Everyone says I win the strip club
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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