she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
