i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
