i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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