Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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