Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
People in love make me want to vomit
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
a search helicopter?!
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
