Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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