i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize