I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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