I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Shame - the story of my life.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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