Christians are straight up FREAKS
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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