she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
