I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
