Non-Jews are for practice
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
