i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
