Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
