Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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