well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
