if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
