but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
