u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
my phone needs a breathalizer
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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