She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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