Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
