Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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