talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
