She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
