apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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