didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
