Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize