where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
