You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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