Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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