You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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