Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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