ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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