Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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