he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
