and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
