The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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