i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
