we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
