he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Do vagina's smell?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
