Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize