matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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