I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
No subtext here. People are naked.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Randomize
