Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
