I forgot how hot balto sounded
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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