you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
