I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
