So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
