so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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