you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize