Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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