I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
