We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
