could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
