There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
