butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
