Christians are straight up FREAKS
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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