I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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