O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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