watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
