he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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