So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
