Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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