he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Boobs are out for the taking
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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