it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
