So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
