I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
There r osticjed everywhere
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize