you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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