you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize