You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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