I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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