Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
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