Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
no, he came in my armpit
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
