I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's official drugs can't kill me
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just want nice things and good sex
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
